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“Et Tu, Bruno?”

Is it Bruno di Fabio, the fun-loving friend and happy-go-lucky pizza guy? Or Bruno di Hyde, selling his soul for a win?

We arrived in Salsomaggiore after a grueling 7-hour ride from the Almalfi Coast, thanks to Bruno’s penchant for driving at the speed of sound. This time I was grateful because the Alfa Romeo we were promised in Rome was totalled. The rental company gave us a smaller Fiat that barely fit us and our bags. The back-seaters (myself and Mike) were stuck like caterpillers in a coccoon.

From San Francisco: Audry, Nancy and Tony Gemignani with Bruno and Leo from Chicago.

I can truly say that Bruno di Fabio is one of my few best friends. Having him as a friend entitles this bearer to countless hours of fun, ruthless and even criminal banter. He is interested in everything under the sun, a curiosity that would make mere mortal scientists’ heads spin. He can also be sensitive and honest at the most inappropriate moments, saying stuff like, “You know John, that’s why I like you, you’ve got the sharpest wit I’ve ever encountered.” (Then the zing.) “Now if only your pizzas didn’t taste like s—- .”

Bruno enters your life like a bullfighter strutting into the ring, wearing only a thong. You must pay attention to him. He demands it. With just a cock of his head and inquisitive eyes, he can either bore a drill-hole into your face or gently taunt you with his smooth charisma.

Two World Champions, Tony Gemignani and Bruno di Fabio; The World Pizza Champions en masse.

After countless years of coming to Salsomaggiore, Italy, I was about to have a front row seat in a play called “The Bruno di Fabio Tsunami” (I would have used “Dog Day Afternoon” but it was too whimpy.)

For his pizza’s ingredients, Bruno dragged us around Sorrento looking for spicy salami and Burrata cheese (a very rich ricotta-like cheese from Puglia). He didn’t quit whining until he purchased some bright green Cerignola olives that would, as he said, “Put the lid on the coffin of all my competitors, including you, John.” Tony Gemignani, owner of Tony’s Napaletana in San Francisco, made a pizza with Campari and reduced blood oranges that was truly brilliant.

Both these guys are undoubtably the best pizza makers in the country. They live for pizza, make it every day, and know all the different kinds of dough, processes and ovens that define good from bad. You may find alot of hot-shot celebrity bakers and chefs with million dollar P.R. firms making the “Top 25 pizzerias” lists of best pizzas, but it’s true pizza men like Tony and Bruno who really live the life.

Tony and Bruno’s Pizza Teglia entrants. Both were calm cool and collected throughout the competition.

(Let’s digress.) It all started in my hotel room at Hotel Valentini. I had just finished cleaning and sanitizing the antique desk in my room as Bruno dumped a pile of All Trumps high-gluten flour into a bowl and added his biga that we had made in Positano.

“So Bruno, I hear they made a new category this year,” said Tony, dressed all in black, his tattoos showing. He lay back on the bed. The smile on his face told me there would soon be laughter followed by yelling.

“Really?” Bruno said as he kneaded the flour into the biga and added more yeast, malt and water.

“Yeah. It’s called ‘last place’ and they did it just for you, chump.” Tony laughed, which cut through the tense room like wildfire.

“Funny Tony,” said Bruno. “Hey, who won last year?”

He and Tony went on and on until I jumped into the fray.

“You hot shots got nothin’ on my pie,” I said.

“That’s because there is nothin’ to your pie except bad taste.” Bruno laughed with a nasal gaffaw. “Face it, John, you’re my friend and I told you before, you’d be much better off if you just quit this pizza dream while you’re ahead. The humiliation for a guy your age may take it’s toll…heart attack, stroke or even leperosy.”

On into the night it went. Tomorrow we would see which pizza truly ruled. That old tense anticipation reverberated throughout Salsomaggiore. Who would win? Who would lose?

Brining and Curing Anchovies for Pizza Metro il “Gilda”

I’ve been to Italy 6 times in my life and have never experienced the kind of friendship, comfort and down-home hospitality as in Holiday House Gilda in Positano. Giuseppe, Gilda, Daniella and Rosa are amazing in the way they welcome you and see to your every need as you relax at this cliffside slice of paradise.

I have this small thought that they must be terribly annoyed by us, the spastic small business owner pizza freaks, constantly talking about the pizza that is gonna win the World Pizza Championships and take the world by storm in Salsomaggiore, Italy.

Today, I’ll finish preping for a marinated anchovy pizza with asparagus, mozzarella, Parmesan and fresh cherry tomatoes finished with chopped roasted almonds. I tell Giuseppe and Gilda my goal of destroying all competitors at the pizza competition and after several minutes of giggling, they said they are happy to help.

Eating my way though Positano with fellow American restaurant owners Mike, Bruno and Tom.

Yesterday, I blasted the whole mountainside with the fatty-sweet smell of sauteed guanciale (pork jowl) that I sweated in the kitchen in my room. (You have to cook this stuff or your pizza will be way too greasy.) I heard Gilda talking and instantly thought she was mad at the amount of pork smell this process produced. As she entered my room, and I turned into the 5 year-old I really am inside, she smiled, and asked for a bite. “Beautiful” she said, and walked out. What a class act!

My three great friends who helped me time and time again; Bruno, Rosa and Mike .

Bruno went to Naples and got owners of famous pizza places to let him throw pizzas. Today he went to Trianon, one of the oldest and respected pizzerias in the world. (pictures to follow). I stayed with Giuseppe today foraging for fresh veggies, then descended the steps to the secluded beach for a cold swim.

Last night, Bruno, our travelling companions Mike and Tom, and I made 2 bigas. A biga is a pre-fermented dough we add to another batch of dough to make the final product more digestable, taste better and perform better in any pizza compeitition. Bruno’s looks much better.

Right now, check out how Giuseppe and Gilda showed me the right way to brine and cure fresh anchovy. These are the freshest anchovies I’ve ever encountered and are a totally different taste than the flattened, salted fish-leather we are all used to in the States.

Now, here’s the goon totally screwing it up. (What a know-it-all.)

After the overnight cure of salt, vinegar and lemon juice, Giuseppe rinses the fish twice and pats them dry. He adds them to a marinade of salt, extra virgin olive oil (crushed from the trees outside our window), small thin slices of garlic, and peperoncini (hanging on the wall after being grown from the garden outside).

After a double-flushing of cold water, Giuseppe drains the anchovies for a few minutes before patting dry.

Now is time for Giuseppe’s final flourish of olive oil, salt, garlic and pepper flakes.

Tomorrow we leave for the 8-hour trip to Salsomaggiore. After covering Rome for a day and staying down south here in Positano, it will be nice to “Get to it”. Earlier today, we went to a grocery store in Sorrento. As we walked in, Bruno pointed at me and exclaimed very loudly, John, the compeition starts NOW!” Then he ran to the back of the store. You could have heard a pin drop as I stood there, trying to  find the things I needed through the stares of the locals. Bruno was right. This was gonna be a tough competition.

See you in Salso.